Saturday, July 20, 2013

Deep Thoughts on ... Dirty Ghosts

All of the hype surrounding the latest horror flick, "The Conjouring," has reminded me of something that continually bothers me. Why are the ghosts/spirits/whatever they are in these films always so dirty? It's like they competed in a Tough Mudder before creeping through your stairwell.

Even worse, why are the lady ghosts always wearing doily dresses from the Civil War? I mean, even ghosts that aren't from that era. I suppose the stores they have to choose from are pretty limited. Maybe the only apparel for women at the ghost store is old timey dresses, as I suppose that would literally be the fashion graveyard. Ha. Fashion Graveyard. That's probably the name of the store.

Anyway, so they always show up, probably right after the family has JUST moved in. So, the carpets are all clean and everything is just starting to be put in its place. And this dirty ass ghost wearing outdated fashions shows up to drag itself all over the off-white carpets. RUDE.

Why don't these movies ever feature a well-dressed, cleaned-up ghost? I mean, its a ghost. It can walk through walls. Including the walls of H&M and probably of a shower. Would it be too much to ask for them to use some body wash, maybe brush the worms off their teeth, and put on a nice summer dress from J.Crew?

These movie producers should really branch out.

Also, obviously not including any pics or movie promos here, as most horror movie trailers scare the shit out of me. Literally. And that's just messy. Instead, I leave you with this semi-related gif:

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