Shit Chloe Says

Apologies for the lack of posts lately. But, what better way to get back into the groove of things than a #shitchloesays?

This particular gem occurred while Chloe enjoyed an episode of "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives":

Chloe: "Omg, turn on Triple D."
Me: "Mmm, they're making sandwiches."
Chloe: "Cured meats. My krypton, it's."

MY KRYPTON, IT'S. Yes, she speaks like Yoda from time to time.

Shit Chloe Says

She's really pumping out some quality quotes.

"We should think of a gang sign for our group! That way, if we get plastic surgery, we'll have a way to recognize each other."

Shit Chloe Says

Me: "Bruno Mars is touring with Ellie Goulding!"

Chloe: "I love his music! Especially his new song, 'When I Was Your Man.'" 

Me: "Yes!"

Chloe: "It's what I imagine all my exes singing when they think about me."

Me: ...

Chloe: "I'm an egotistical bitch."

As a side note, Chloe's exes also sing "Teardrops on My Guitar" when thinking of her as well as "Big Booty Ho." Okay, I lied about some of that. They don't listen to Taylor Swift.

Shit Chloe Says

"All 8 months of senior year were great.  Except for those 4 when you were a fucking vegetarian.  What the hell was that?  Just kidding, senior year was the best.  But no, really.  What the fuck was that?"

Take note kids, Chloe does not approve of vegetarianism. 

Shit Chloe Says

One of my fondest memories of my college roommate and I occurred during a lovely winter snow at Carolina.  Mind you, I grew up on a tropical island, so snow was not very common.  And by "very common" I mean not at all.  Needless to say, experiencing an actual winter was pretty exciting.

Anyway, this conversation occurred during our walk from class back to the dorm:

Me (more excited than a child): "OH MY GOD.  LOOK AT ALL THE SNOW ON THE GROUND."

Chloe (not impressed):  "Yeah."

Me: "CAN I THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU?"

Chloe: "No."

Me: "PLEASE, CHLOE.  PLEASE, PLEASE.  JUST ONE."

Chloe: "No.  Don't."

Me (throws snowball anyway): "HAHAHAHA."

Chloe: "Fuck you."

Best friends forever, ya'll!

Also, in case you're wondering why all of my lines are in caps, it's because I'm always yelling. Always.

Shit Chloe Says

During a discussion regarding how we put on our bras, this little gem came about.  I'll give you no further context, and just leave it open to interpretation:

"If you have boobs in the front, you can't have boobs in the back."

Shit Chloe Says

Me: "Yeah, so anyway, they kind of call her 'Skeletor' as a nick-name."

Chloe: "Oh my God.  I would never want to be called Skeletor.  I mean, unless I was really skinny, in which case I'd be like 'OH HAYYY, I'M SKELETOR.'"

Own it.

Shit Chloe Says

I love opening my GMail to see these missed GChat messages:

Chloe:  "Hello!!"
Chloe:  "Are you there?"
Chloe:  "I know you are there"
Chloe:  "I see FBook activity"

And sometimes, if the Chloe realizes I can't talk on GChat at work, but for some reason Facebook Chat works, she will say the following:

"I will wait for you on the Facebook."

Go find your own stalker, Chloe is taken.

Shit Chloe Says

I decided to start this daily/weekly/however often type of post based on the fact that my roommate from college arbitrarily says some of the most insightfully entertaining things to me.

Remember, she's in med school.  Thus, these are the musings of a future doctor.

In a recent, one-liner email:

"Horrible girl got fat! #winning #sorryimnotsorry"

Later followed by:

"I mean, I know I binge eat, but at least I still look good!"

Best friends forever.