Let's chat about The Bachelor (Week 7)

This week's post is brought to you by the weekly meeting of the flawless brows and glasses gossip committee:

KIRPA'S BROWS ARE NOT REAL AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

After exciting international adventures, we're in Denver this week!

Can you believe some people come on this show just to be on TV
Colton's internal struggle continues as he mulls over the fact that 3 ladies (Sydney, Katie, Demi) all alluded to the fact that there are some women in the house who are not here for "the right reasons" and aren't ready to be engaged. Like, boo DUH. But I guess Colton really thinks that all of these beautiful women who are wildly out of his league are actually here to love him. Silly rabbit.

Ben Higgins, who I think must be part owner of this franchise by now based on how many times he has appeared, shows up to offer his advice because he has had a really successful run with the show. Um also Ben can still get it. And by "it" I mean my father's permission to date me omg you guys don't be so explicit.

The sage bit of wisdom he offers Colton is to just ask the girls if they're here for the right reasons. WOW, A REAL ACADEMIC, Y'ALL. WHAT A GOOD IDEA. Because if they're not here for the right reasons, they're def gonna admit it like "Nah hoe I'm here to get famous." Colton mulls over this advice like Ben just told him KFC's secret recipe.

Later the ladies greet Colton in Denver and Miss Alabama is wearing this:

I'm not even shading her here, I like this outfit. It's this sort of long-sleeved mesh top paired with a leather jacket. But like, what temperatures allow you to comfortably wear this? I also love how the show continues to be petty by making her stand by North Carolina all the time.

SPILL THE TEA, TAYSHIA
Tayshia gets the first one-on-one with Colton and his dog and they walk around the city exchanging such conversational hits as "I'm so excited to be here" and "I like Denver" and "I'm glad you're here." The regulars. They eventually sit down at a bar to ignore glasses of Prosecco.

Colton says he isn't worried that Tayshia is one of the girls who is here for the wrong reasons but asks for the goss. And Tayshia says she doesn't want to spread gossip except oh wait, what is this spatula and LET'S SPREAD. She says that Katie told her Cassie and Caelynn were saying stuff like they want to be the next Bachelorette and can't wait to be invited to all the parties after this show and they definitely aren't ready to be engaged. And I have to assert that this is the most relatable thing to happen on this show. Because if your reward for enduring 12 weeks with a boring cup of plain yogurt is not a bunch of parties with B-list celebs and a chance at being the Bachelorette, what even is the point?

Colton then goes outside to poop because we all handle stress differently I guess.

Post-gossip session, they head to what appears to be a show room for an apartment complex to cook dinner. At some point, Colton tries to Patrick Swayze Tayshia while she's cutting carrots which is both stupid and dangerous.

They then set their plates down to ignore while they talk more. And actually this is the one case where ignoring the food might be a good idea because they've chosen to include brussels sprouts which might be the most fart-inducing food ever. We ain't tryna hear that on the mics.

Colton ends the date by showing Tayshia "his room" (read: who knows whose room this is in a random apartment building) and she gets a rose, making her the first to make it to hometown dates.

"I'm happy for you, it sucks"

Cassie continues to be the most depressed yet supportive friend of Caelynn, who gets the next one-on-one date.

Colton decides to "teach" Caelynn how to snowboard, which totally seems like an activity you can accomplish in the first hour of a date. They shuffle around for a bit and she learns exactly zero about snowboarding before they head to the lodge to gossip.

He tells her what Tayshia said and she reacts as such (my ability to screenshot people blinking REMAINS UNRIVALED):

She says none of it is true and she has never said any of those words, especially the ones about wanting to be the Bachelorette. And that she hasn't felt this way about anyone before and she's falling for Colton and ready to be engaged.

Later at dinner, they rehash these overcooked hashbrowns and Caelynn is basically like "Those are lies and I like you" and Colton is like "K, I believe you because you said it." And then, because we haven't seen a white, vaguely country music'ish band in a few episodes, they head to Red Rocks Amphitheater for that to happen:

Colton obviously gives Caelynn a rose because he has been obsessed with her since night 1.

What moisturizer are they using

Caelynn confronts Tayshia about the stuff she told Colton and whatever let's not talk about that because it's stupid. Instead, can we talk about how amazing both of their skin is? Like what even is their routine? How are they not breaking out from all the traveling?

"I got a hometown before the hometown"
Alabama gets the next one-on-one because she is once again runner-up to North Carolina. And for this, Colton brings her to meet his family which is exactly what you do when you're about to dump someone.

And they all drink wine and IGNORE PROSCIUTTO WRAPPED MOZZARELLA???? AND A BASKET OF ASSORTED ROLLS??? THIS SHOW DESTROYS ME.

Hannah tells Colton's mom that she's falling for Colton and is 100% ready to be engaged. Meanwhile, Colton is like "Bruh, I don't think I like Hannah" to his dad. So to summarize, they are on the same page.

Later at dinner, Hannah spills her heart again and emphasizes that she's falling in love with Colton and he lets her get this entire spiel out before being like "Oh, you mean you like me? Oh yeah, sorry,  I don't like you like that." And Hannah is completely blindsided.

And she does that thing we all do when we're pissed and trying not to be violent — runs her tongue over her teeth like there's steak stuck in it. Colton walks her out and the bonus in this is that instead of an Uber, she gets to drive away in a limo??

Which, finally getting to leave this trash fire show in a limo that must have champagne in it is a pretty sweet deal.

Just the four of us
Okay so to recap, we have two roses left and four ladies. These leftovers get taken on one last group date. And omg look how happy they are! Best friends for life! LYLAS!

They head out into the woods to literally do nothing but sit and wait to talk to Colton. It is the most pointless trip ever when they could've done this at a local Starbucks.

Heather is up first and she is so fucking stoked to tell Colton that she wants to go home. She says she doesn't think she wants him to meet her family because he is literally a stranger (okay those might be my words) and honestly he looks happy too. He walks her to the train (oh yeah there's a random train because this is The Bad Place) and they both look like they're going to Disney World:

So now Heather is gone and Hannah G., Kirpa and Cassie remain. Colton steals Cassie away next so they can continue this neverending gossip session about what Cassie and Caelynn did or did not say.

Colton tells her what he heard and blah blah, Cassie is so blown away by the allegations that she takes a nap:

Who can blame her, this merry-go-round does not end. Like Caelynn, she denys what Katie said to Tayshia who shared it with Colton and is like "omg no that's crazy I like you." Upon hearing this, Colton is of course like, "Well, let's just see what Kirpa's brows say."

WHAT IS THAT PINK NOTEBOOK? I hope it's either a Burn Book (as most pink notebooks are) or a notebook that lists all the women who are there for all the wrong reasons because that is apparently the drama we are stuck on and that would be of great help.

She confirms what Tayshia told him because Tayshia is her main B and she has her back. She also adds that Caelynn and Cassie seemed the most defensive when the group learned Katie warned him about some of them, which made them look even more suspicious. Kind of like if you ate all your friend's Golden Oreos and she came in the room and asked "Who ate my cookies?" and you were like "OH MY GOD CALM DOWN. SUCH A STUPID QUESTION. I HATE OREOS I'VE NEVER EVEN HAD THEM. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT OREOS ARE. WHAT ARE COOKIES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN AROUND A COOKIE." Exactly like that.

Okay so after talking with Kirpa, Colton can't decide so he's like, let's drag this out to dinner.

So here they all are sitting super comfortably at dinner like the ladies are Simon, Paula and Randy and Colton is auditioning to be on American Idol. Colton does the easy stuff first and gives Hannah G. her rose because we all knew that was coming.

So now! Gasp! There is one rose left and it's between these two gossip girls! Before Colton can make his decision, Caelynn shows up like "surprise bitch" because she just couldn't live if he sent her BFF Cassie home based on some rumors.

This was seriously the best screenshot I could get because the camera was panning so fast. Girl was on the move! So she tells Colton that Cassie is here for the right reasons and these rumors are dumb and THIS IS SO STUPID because there are ZERO facts involved on either side, just everyone saying "I heard this." So Colton's dumbass of course believes the last person he talks to because I'm actually not sure how good his long-term memory is.

And in a shocking turn of events (not), Cassie gets the last rose and the last hometown date. And Kirpa gives us one more sassy brow lift:

I can actually hear her saying "THIIIIIIIIIIIIS BITCH." She holds it together until getting in her limo when she cries:

Which um wow her brows remain flawless even through tears. And thus begins my official campaign for Kirpa to be the next Bachelorette.

In summary, this dramatic episode fueled by rumors was pointless because there was no way Colton's hometown dates weren't going to be 50% blonde. Pure science.

And that's it! If the fence jumping doesn't happen next week I will burn this place down. Til then, find me denying eating all of your food and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).

Let's chat about The Bachelor (Week 6)

This week's post is brought to you by Heather, who got a new job:

We're in Vietnam this week!

I am completely shocked
The episode picks up where last week's predictable and pointless cliff hanger left off, with a Rose Ceremony and Nicole crying.

Onyeka and Nicole, who have spent the entire evening arguing with other, both don't get roses because literally everyone from Colton to the PA stocking the production staff's snacks are done with their BS.

After they're both left roseless, we learn that GASP neither of them cares since the other is going home too. Aint nobody actually want this pot o'Colton gold at the end of this shitbow.

An extremely meaningful date
Hannah G. gets the first one-on-one date in Vietnam and instead of actually enjoying the rich culture, history and amazing food of this country, these two vanilla soft serves do this:

And then also this:

And this:

And then to mix it up, this:

We get so many sound bites of Colton and the girls back at the house talking about how stunningly beautiful Hannah is. And like, I don't want to be rude except jk I am Rude Bader Ginsburg — I don't see it. I find Hannah kind of odd looking? Kind of like a mix between one of those Funko Pop toys and a character from that movie "Big Eyes." But I think she meets all of the requirements Colton has set for a wife: 1) White 2) Tiny 3) Blonde 4) Name is two syllables or less 5) Could pass for his sister.

After they subject these Vietnamese women to their making out across various locations at this spa, they head to dinner, which I think the producers only include so there's a table between Colton and whichever lady, creating a physical barrier and giving us a break from the really bad kissing.

Hannah reveals that the hardest thing she's faced in her life hasn't been the fact that she's really pretty, but rather, that her parents got divorced. And her mom drove through their yard to spite her dad who took such care of it, which I know this is a serious conversation but imagining a woman destroying a yard is pretty hilarious.

Colton obviously gives her a rose and I continue to be confused by his obsession with her.

I could never be on this show
Aside from the fact that I'm over 30 which is apparently beyond cougar and probably approaching something like rhino status, I would demolish these girls in any sort of physical competition. Like, there would be a real probability that I'd actually knock someone out. I am 90% positive I would accidentally break Heather's arm just by generating air by waving at her.

The leftovers get to go on this Girl Fight Club date which is perfect since none of these women have ever been in a fight ever. This is like taking a bunch of lactose intolerant people to a milk tasting. The only entertaining part is when Katie goes off on Demi's wack ass and punches her in the face:

After swatting at each other for an hour, they head to the dentist's office portion of the date wherein all of them wait to have their mouth inspected by Colton.

He says he's "really excited for...all the relationships" which swoon, a modern day Shakespeare.

And we've now reached the point of the show that is particularly stupid (as opposed to all other parts which are just regular stupid) where each of the ladies starts to feel really insecure about the fact that their "boyfriend" still has 14 other girlfriends. And they all want Colton to say "Ok but I promise I'll propose to YOU at the end" but as we know that isn't the point of this show.

In the spirit of this, Sydney suddenly wakes up from her walking coma to realize she is on a show competing for the proposal of a guy who isn't even a pro athlete anymore. She decides they can't "get there" as a couple and can't believe she gave up being a Knicks dancer for this and goes home. But not before really planting it in Colton's mind that some of the girls aren't here for the right reasons and aren't ready to be engaged and anyway we'll never know who in the group she thinks lacks maturity:

Tayshia ends up getting the group date rose and when she goes to grab it from Colton, Alabama tries to kill her by using only her mind. It doesn't work, but I assume she'll keep trying on all of the ladies.

KIRPA'S TIME TO SHINE
Our fav Kirpa gets the second one-on-one date and this is all very exciting mostly because she'll get real screentime and she is the actual star of this season. This is how excited she is to have "won" the one-on-one:

She greets Colton by the water and is EXTREMELY hesitant about the dumbass way the ladies are forced to greet the dude. Like, she stands there for a second before I'm sure some producer on the side screamed "YOU HAVE TO WRAP YOUR LEGS AROUND HIM OR WE LEAVE YOU HERE."

They head into some windy ass vestibule to ignore some random food while getting to know each other because this is quite literally the second time Colton has met with Kirpa.

After finally finding out each others names, they go out on a boat because the show must have some sort of time share situation with one based on the number of times dates are centered around boats. At one point they eat a lime topped with boogers.

Later at dinner, Kirpa reveals she was with her ex for 8 years and engaged and he was a virgin, to which Colton is like "omg I'm a virgin too, did you know that." She says they ended up breaking up because they got "too comfortable" with each other and things got stagnant. And she doesn't want to end an engagement again, which I think goes without saying. I mean, who among us WANTS to end an engagement aside from the lesser known Marvel superhero Ending Engagement Man.

Kirpa looks absolutely bored during this entire date and sits most of the time like this:

BUT GIRL THOSE LASHES AND BROWS CONTINUE TO SLAY US.

Colton gives her a rose and she's says "yay" like someone just told her she won a free colonoscopy. They then kiss in the rain which is rude considering Colton has an umbrella. What is the point of this aside from frizzy hair.

But he talked to her felon mom who just got out of prison!
Earlier in the episode during the group date, Demi uses her alone time with Colton to call her recently-released-from-prison mom and introduce her to him. Which in Demi's mind cements their relationship.

At the end of the episode, she brushes out her best Toddlers and Tiaras blowout and decides she's gonna sneak away to see Colton and let him know how she feels.

She tells him she's falling in love with him and blah blah he's like "Ummmm, even though I have graphically made out with you for weeks now, I don't actually want to marry you." And even though I don't like her, it's kind of sad to see someone spill their feelings only to be told "nah."

She cries and obviously has to go home and it's shitty that she wasted a good hair day on this situation.

Before she heads out, she lets the girls know what happened and all I want to point out is Alabama is the TEXTBOOK example of what ALL of us women do when someone wakes us up to talk — arms over the chest because we ain't wearin' no bra.

And that's it! We continue to wait for the fence jumping scene that I bet we'll learn isn't even from this season and was just an old clip from Becca's season because this show would do some shit like that.

See you next week! Til then, find me eating your fries when you get up to go to the bathroom and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).

What did we learn from the 2019 Grammys?

Welcome to an awards show where I can't scream about Gemma Chan! Luckily there's plenty of other stuff to screech about because the Grammys were ALMOST 4 HOURS LONG.

This year's recap is brought to you by all of these fans not missing an opportunity to snap photos of their faves on the red carpet:

As is my unexplainable routine, I watched the 12 hours of pre-show coverage because I needed to hear a bunch of Z-listers on E! debate potential looks like "I MEAN SHE WORE CLOTHES LAST YEAR, BUT WILL SHE WEAR CLOTHES THIS YEAR?" Riveting.

In a shocking turn of events, Rancic actually looked pretty great. I can't believe I just typed those words because this is the first time in the history of ever that she's looked great. Just a simple hairdo and makeup and a super cute dress!

But don't worry, she was still steadfast in the level of stupid she brought to the Red Carpet. And I'm positive she brought the fashion extra hard because Seacrest, wearing a suit from his own dumbass collection, wore THESE BOBO ASS SHOES:

I could give two farts if these are Versace or Givenchy or K-Mart — they're ugly. You know who wears these? High school boys who think they're hot shit because they're on the 8th string of the football team and just got new puka shells and a Playstation 2 last week.

Best dressed:

We did not see nearly enough of Jorja Smith who was nominated for Best New Artist. A quick summary of Jorja: she's English, has an amazing voice, won the Brits' Critics Choice Awards last year (past winners include Adele and Ellie Goulding) and allegedly dated Drake in 2017 while they worked on some songs together AND HE GOT A TATTOO FOR HER. Or well, Jorja doesn't think that part is true, but he got an "11" tattoo and her birthday is on June 11 and her debut EP was called "Project 11" so I'll let you deduct what you will. Anyway, THIS LOOK SHE IS SERVING:

This is actually the exact face I make when someone finds out I'm Korean and responds with "Oh, my best friend is Chinese" UM OK. So even though Jorja didn't win, she gave us this look and also her boyfriend is pretty hot and she got Drake to tattoo her birthday on his body so all of that combined, I think, is the equivalent of a lifetime achievement award.

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Here's the thing: K-Pop stars dress INFINITELY better than American pop stars. So while we were rolling out Post Malone who I think might just be a dumpster masquerading as a human, these BTS boys were strolling through in fine ass, tailored suits (made by a Korean designer!). And before you start screaming "Omg how old are they" how about you calm the F down because the youngest one is Jungkook (in the middle waving) and he's 21 and we're dating. It's whatever. We share earrings it's great and we are both old enough to buy alcohol so stop asking.

To the show!

Whatever new girl group this is, I'm in

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Alicia Keys opened the show with Gaga, Jada Pinkett-Smith, J.Lo in a bigass hat AND MICHELLE OBAMA. I could barely hear anything over my own screaming.

I am Ariel

Because Shawn Mendes is clearly Prince Eric with those striped pants. He also wore this silk, sleeveless top and his piano was literally imploding because none of us were expecting to see that body'ody. He started the performance singing "In My Blood," which is coincidentally enough the name of his song and also words I've written in letters to him because nothing says normal, non-creepy love like using the word blood.

After his broody piano playing, Miley came out sporting the ol' vest-with-no-shirt-underneath look and they sang together:

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There is nothing I love more than fire during a performance. It's wildly dramatic and also really dangerous and that's the mix I'm interested in. Also want to note that on the red carpet, Seacrest asked Shawn if he and Miley would "be looking at each other" during the performance to which Shawn was like "Um, yes, we'll both be up there singing together so I'm pretty sure we'll make eye contact" and my mind exploded because Seacrest isn't qualified to interview a toucan.

Speaking of the red carpet, Shawn was obviously one of the best dressed men of the night and here he is thirst trapping all of us:

Very excited to be a member of the Church of Janelle
Janelle Monae gave one of the top 2 performances of the night (check it out here), reminding us that in addition to acting, she can write meaningful lyrics, sing and moonwalk across a stage while wearing PVC leather:

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Meanwhile, half of us can barely eat a grilled cheese while watching a Fyre Fest documentary. Here she is dropping the mic at the end of her performance as she realizes how many mortal uggos are surrounding her.

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We stan a multi-talented queen.

CARDI CARDI CARDI
The other top performance of the night was OBVIOUSLY Cardi. Show producers were smart to put her in the last third of this 18-hour show because things had gotten pretty sleepy. But then:

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She performed "Money" and twerked on top of a piano and it was everything we needed. Plus we were all introduced to Chloe Flower, the pianist who opened Cardi's performance. This is the photo I will show my kids when I force, I mean ask, them if they want to take piano lessons:

"DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A BAD ASS BITCH? DON'T YOU? Now go make Mommy proud."

Cardi also became the first solo woman to win the award for Rap Album. Her speech was so freaking cute because she was legitimately surprised and so so gracious about it (unlike fakes we've seen in the past *COUGH TAYLOR SWIFT COUGH*).

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UMMM BUT CAN OFFSET PLEASE SEE HIMSELF OFF STAGE?? And yes, I know she was gripping his hand because she was so nervous, but I will never forgive him for being in her spotlight (or for cheating on her). Y'all when I say I was happy for her, I mean I literally clenched my heart when her name was announced like I'm some proud grandma. "Invasion of Privacy" was OBJECTIVELY (did you hear me, I said OBJECTIVELY) one of the best albums of 2018. It's got bops, it's got sass, it's got bangers, it cleared up my acne and paid off my car. Amazing.

Final Cardi note: She wore this Little Mermaid getup on the red carpet that only permitted her to move around in a sort of shuffle and I loved everything about it including the hat that I think is supposed to be like the pearl inside an oyster?

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But are we far from the Shallow now

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Based on her reaction to winning, you may not know this little known artist. Her name is Lady Gaga and SHE'S ONLY WON LIKE 450 GRAMMYS. Sure, this year's win was for a song from a movie featuring her first starring role, but dear God how many more times will we have to hear how Bradley Cooper apparently Tony Robbins'd her life and completely changed everything. She continues to act like she was Nikki Blonsky working at Coldstone and got plucked from obscurity to be in "Hairspray." When we all know Gaga was swimming in her pool made of melted down Grammys when B.Coop asked her to be in a recycled movie.

Luckily, we got a glimpse of old Gaga during her performance:

Only one more major awards show left for Gaga to be president of the high school drama club. Then can we please return to walking a red carpet inside an egg.

The bigger the hair, the closer to God

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I love how Kacey Musgraves brings out this bump-it for all her major performances. AND THOSE HOOPS! In a dramatic turn of events that surprised me the most, she was the artist I listened to most on Spotify in 2018. Who would've guessed. "The Golden Hour" really is that bitch. But do I think I am the one to thank for Kacey winning album of the year? Yes I am and she did thank me when she said "Thank you to the fans" UM FANS COME FROM ASIA. I AM ASIAN. So the logical connection is there, you see it. Speaking of fans, for all you history buffs, Kacey actually invented fans:

She performed "Rainbow" and all I want to talk about is how MOTHER FRACKING FLAWLESS HER MAKEUP AND BROWS AND LASHES ARE????? SHE DOES NOT HAVE PORES????

I'm hollering. The other thing I like about her is she looks like she could fight? Like she's definitely punched someone in the face before. And if that doesn't make you want to listen to her album, her reaction to winning Album of the Year should:

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Um, also when she won, this guy was onstage with her?

Wearing football pads and combat boots? So I guess some sort of time traveling fashion disaster? Cool.

When your cloning machine actually works

St. Vincent and Dua Lipa performed a collab of "Masseducation" and "One Kiss" and it was a win all around for short bobs. I saw St. Vincent perform at Panorama last year and by "saw" I mean I have a very blurry drunken image of her singing, I think. Was happy to see her perform because she's great! And Dua always delivers so. But how in the hell does she go to the bathroom with those nails. Or type emails. Or like, peel oranges. Mind boggling.

Things I could've done without
1) Whichever one this is from Dan + Shay wearing a shirt that looks like it includes Bluetooth headphones:

2) And then that same dude during their performance of "Tequila" holding that last note for what felt like 14 minutes:

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I don't even remember what the last word was, but I feel like it was something ordinary, like "pencil" and he just held it for an inordinate amount of time like "PEEEEEEEEEEEENCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL." We did not ask for this.

3) Everything about the Post Malone + Red Hot Chili Peppers performance. I don't even have a screenshot of it because this was my face the entire time:

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I just kept wondering how the Grammys found the time to gather all of the men I find least attractive and put them on one stage. Like some sort of PSA for birth control and it worked.

4) Everything and I mean EVERYTHING about J.Lo's Motown tribute.

First off, whose idea was it to have J.Lo do the Motown tribute? Secondly, does no one remember that J.Lo doesn't have that great of a voice? Someone was ABSOLUTELY singing behind the scenes for her, Milli Vanilli style. This entire performance was bizarre. Do you think they asked Beyonce first? And after she said no, asked 300 other people who all said no before finally being like "Oh, J.Lo is the last person left to ask"? It is the only explanation.

Things I could've done with more of
1) Maren Morris' hoops

2) Alicia Keys singing every genre of music

She performed a medley of a bunch of hits and some oldies including Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop (That Thing)" and if that piano intro doesn't make you involuntarily scream YESSSSS you are tasteless and I hate you.

3) BTS reaction shots

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4) Close-ups of Dua Lipa's brows

It's upsetting that she gets to be that tall and talented with those naturally great brows. Like, I didn't know we were allowed to choose more than one talent from the talent pool so I only chose "able to eat a lot of food but also gain weight." Pissed.

5) H.E.R. wearing sunglasses indoors

And wait actually that woman behind her with the side eye who clearly has no time for this fucking 15-hour show.

6) Degrassi

7) Childish Gambino

"This is America" won Song and Record of the Year, the first rap song to do so! Donald Glover wasn't there though because we were watching from home, but thank you all for the lovely messages we enjoyed reading them while eating our dumplings and watching Marie Kondo's Netflix show.

And that's it! I mean, obviously 800 other things happened because this show was on for 48 hours. If you want to know irrelevant shit like, all of the actual winners, check that out here.

See you tomorrow for Bachelor trash! Til then, find me making friendship bracelets for me and Chrissy Teigen and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez because we're all friends and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).