What did we learn from the 2019 Billboard Music Awards?

This year's BBMAs were like a cake comprised mostly of fondant — we had to endure a ton of bland, tasteless crap to get to a tiny portion of deliciousness (BTS).

I should've taken the hint during E!'s TWO HOUR Red Carpet that this was the equivalent of a high school dance being held in a cafeteria. Can't you just hear the inner monologues of Olivia Munn, Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever collectively screaming "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO US."

And I know I usually talk shit about E! and SURPRISE there is no difference here — Jason Kennedy wore his mashed potatoes and gravy suit because that was the level of personality he brought. I'm not even mentioning his new co-host because: 1) I do not remember her name and 2) Refer to #1.

Best dressed

OBVIOUSLY. Cardi changed like 3 times during the show, but showed up first in this toga-like two piece, giving us Cher vibes. Like that white guy on the left, I continue to be so happy for her and her middle part. Plus, her makeup! And those boobs! Which she recently said she had re-done because her baby "fucked up her body," which is motherly and nurturing and I love her.

No no no no no no no
Taylor Swift opened the show and it was one of the most terrible things I have ever experienced in my entire life, including that time I got food poisoning from some chicken wings.

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Like, my whole family is white and I went to college in the South but this was easily one of the most Caucasian things I have ever seen. From the all-white marching band to the Pepto Bismol-colored outfits (white people love Pepto). Coincidentally enough, this performance made my stomach hurt.

And look, do I think Beyonce owns the marching band concept and Taylor copied her? Not at all. I KNOW that Beyonce owns the concept and Taylor ATTEMPTED to copy her, but this entire thing was a K-Mart mess. If Beyonce and Beychella were filet mignon, this was canned turkey and #Mayochella.

Taylor continues to sing about not being one of the "cool girls," which is ridic because honey, we aren't in middle school anymore. The concept of a "cool girl" is completely different now and mostly measured by, do you have health insurance? Do you have an IRA? Cool! Trying to peddle this popular girl thing is some tired, unseasoned chicken.

A summary of this entire show

Shoutout to Halsey for napping onstage during her performance while wearing an enormous grommet belt because SAME.

Famous men I would not date

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I would date a wide range of men on the looks scale to get into celeb inner circles, but there is one line I will not cross and that line is labeled "Jonas." I have never and will never understand their appeal. I can't fully explain it, but I think most of it has to do with my distaste for their faces in conjunction with their bodies and also their voices. Just that. I have this strong feeling they all have really sweaty hands too?

Famous men I'm actively trying to date

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It's very possible that I blush every time Drake speaks. It's a weird phenomenon but his voice is dolphin smooth. And I love his turtleneck look because everyone knows men who wear turtlenecks read fine, leather-bound books.

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I would gladly participate in a traditional Korean wedding with any of these men. And they're all 21 or older so please calm down with your "HOW OLD ARE THEY" sentiments. And since I'm 100% Korean and each of them is also 100% Korean, simple math tells me that our kids would be 200% Korean and that just sounds like something we cannot pass up.

I only knew about Maluma from that song "Chantaje" he did with Shakira, but I had really never seen him. And um, wow. I know I'm tardy to this hottness party but can I skip ahead in the drinks line because I'm thirsty. His little smile! And more importantly THOSE MAN BROWS. I was extremely saddened he had to endure a performance with Madonna, who continues to scare the shit out of me as I'm positive she's just a really tacky ghost at this point.

A crush that aged well

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During my teen emo phase, and by "emo phase," I mean the few months of 11th grade when I took a break from listening to Ashlee Simpson, I LOVED Panic! At the Disco. This was when "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" came out and I realized I would be okay dating Brendon Urie even though we wore the same sized jeans.

After being the only good thing about Swifty's opening performance, he performed again and all I want to say is shoutout to teen me for picking a dude who remains pretty hot. He's clearly been using whatever cryogenic chamber Paul Rudd also uses because I SEE NO SIGNS OF AGING.

Me after eating a Chipotle bowl + chips:

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Cardi won 6 awards including this one for that song she did with Maroon 5. I was salty (like a Chipotle bowl) that she didn't perform, but luckily her speeches throughout the night proved to be just as entertaining.

This is logistically confusing

Lauren Daigle performed "You Say," which is a great ballad, but I could not concentrate on her singing because this outfit completely baffled me. I thought it was a dress at first, but upon closer inspection it appeared to be a romper pants suit? The parachutey nature of the pants threw me off. How did she go to the bathroom in this? Is there some sort of giant zipper on the back? Is there like a little fabric door she can open? I just have so many concerns.

Here's the thing about Mariah

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I'm going to preface this by saying I love ALL of Mariah's music from the 90s and early 2000s. Like I wanted to breakup with my high school boyfriend to go through a period of angst just so "We Belong Together" would be especially applicable. But these days her voice is, let's just say, not what it used to be. So anytime she is slated to perform live, I get really nervous. Similar to eating Taco Bell before going on rollercoasters, you don't really know what will happen.

Ahead of accepting the Icon Award, she performed a medley of hits and it was....a thing. It wasn't terrible, but also, if you used to be the best at something, wouldn't you want to go out on top? For example, I used to be REALLY good at wearing a size 00, but now, not so good at it. But it was a fun time that I look back on fondly while knowing I shouldn't do it now.

Alas, I guess she can do what she wants because she invented Christmas in 1994.

When you don't have time for Julianne Hough

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I am not even going to attempt to explain the rationale behind having Paula Abdul perform, but it was pretty hilarious to see her whip her fedora at Julianne Hough.

What we all endured this show for

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You gotta give it up to Billboard for booking BTS every year because they know people will tune in JUST for them. So they wisely saved their performance for the last 15 minutes. This was the cake we dug through that dumbass fondant to get to.

They performed "Boy With Luv," which "features" Halsey and it had more energy in the first 3 seconds than the entire show. I use quotation marks because Halsey just joins in on the chorus to add some "AW YEAH YEAH YEAH" bits and such. I'm not even hating because I stan a scammer who can work their way onto a #1 song.

In hindsight, I regret watching the other 2 hours and 45 minutes of this show when I could've just tuned in for this hip thrusting at the end. You live and learn.

And that's it! I know I've said this about other events, but this is one where I truly believe I deserve some sort of medal for enduring THREE HOURS of pointless crap.

See y'all soon! Til then, find me asking the sales associate at Sephora which facial cream will make me look like Gemma Chan and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).

What did we learn from the 2019 Grammys?

Welcome to an awards show where I can't scream about Gemma Chan! Luckily there's plenty of other stuff to screech about because the Grammys were ALMOST 4 HOURS LONG.

This year's recap is brought to you by all of these fans not missing an opportunity to snap photos of their faves on the red carpet:

As is my unexplainable routine, I watched the 12 hours of pre-show coverage because I needed to hear a bunch of Z-listers on E! debate potential looks like "I MEAN SHE WORE CLOTHES LAST YEAR, BUT WILL SHE WEAR CLOTHES THIS YEAR?" Riveting.

In a shocking turn of events, Rancic actually looked pretty great. I can't believe I just typed those words because this is the first time in the history of ever that she's looked great. Just a simple hairdo and makeup and a super cute dress!

But don't worry, she was still steadfast in the level of stupid she brought to the Red Carpet. And I'm positive she brought the fashion extra hard because Seacrest, wearing a suit from his own dumbass collection, wore THESE BOBO ASS SHOES:

I could give two farts if these are Versace or Givenchy or K-Mart — they're ugly. You know who wears these? High school boys who think they're hot shit because they're on the 8th string of the football team and just got new puka shells and a Playstation 2 last week.

Best dressed:

We did not see nearly enough of Jorja Smith who was nominated for Best New Artist. A quick summary of Jorja: she's English, has an amazing voice, won the Brits' Critics Choice Awards last year (past winners include Adele and Ellie Goulding) and allegedly dated Drake in 2017 while they worked on some songs together AND HE GOT A TATTOO FOR HER. Or well, Jorja doesn't think that part is true, but he got an "11" tattoo and her birthday is on June 11 and her debut EP was called "Project 11" so I'll let you deduct what you will. Anyway, THIS LOOK SHE IS SERVING:

This is actually the exact face I make when someone finds out I'm Korean and responds with "Oh, my best friend is Chinese" UM OK. So even though Jorja didn't win, she gave us this look and also her boyfriend is pretty hot and she got Drake to tattoo her birthday on his body so all of that combined, I think, is the equivalent of a lifetime achievement award.

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Here's the thing: K-Pop stars dress INFINITELY better than American pop stars. So while we were rolling out Post Malone who I think might just be a dumpster masquerading as a human, these BTS boys were strolling through in fine ass, tailored suits (made by a Korean designer!). And before you start screaming "Omg how old are they" how about you calm the F down because the youngest one is Jungkook (in the middle waving) and he's 21 and we're dating. It's whatever. We share earrings it's great and we are both old enough to buy alcohol so stop asking.

To the show!

Whatever new girl group this is, I'm in

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Alicia Keys opened the show with Gaga, Jada Pinkett-Smith, J.Lo in a bigass hat AND MICHELLE OBAMA. I could barely hear anything over my own screaming.

I am Ariel

Because Shawn Mendes is clearly Prince Eric with those striped pants. He also wore this silk, sleeveless top and his piano was literally imploding because none of us were expecting to see that body'ody. He started the performance singing "In My Blood," which is coincidentally enough the name of his song and also words I've written in letters to him because nothing says normal, non-creepy love like using the word blood.

After his broody piano playing, Miley came out sporting the ol' vest-with-no-shirt-underneath look and they sang together:

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There is nothing I love more than fire during a performance. It's wildly dramatic and also really dangerous and that's the mix I'm interested in. Also want to note that on the red carpet, Seacrest asked Shawn if he and Miley would "be looking at each other" during the performance to which Shawn was like "Um, yes, we'll both be up there singing together so I'm pretty sure we'll make eye contact" and my mind exploded because Seacrest isn't qualified to interview a toucan.

Speaking of the red carpet, Shawn was obviously one of the best dressed men of the night and here he is thirst trapping all of us:

Very excited to be a member of the Church of Janelle
Janelle Monae gave one of the top 2 performances of the night (check it out here), reminding us that in addition to acting, she can write meaningful lyrics, sing and moonwalk across a stage while wearing PVC leather:

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Meanwhile, half of us can barely eat a grilled cheese while watching a Fyre Fest documentary. Here she is dropping the mic at the end of her performance as she realizes how many mortal uggos are surrounding her.

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We stan a multi-talented queen.

CARDI CARDI CARDI
The other top performance of the night was OBVIOUSLY Cardi. Show producers were smart to put her in the last third of this 18-hour show because things had gotten pretty sleepy. But then:

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She performed "Money" and twerked on top of a piano and it was everything we needed. Plus we were all introduced to Chloe Flower, the pianist who opened Cardi's performance. This is the photo I will show my kids when I force, I mean ask, them if they want to take piano lessons:

"DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A BAD ASS BITCH? DON'T YOU? Now go make Mommy proud."

Cardi also became the first solo woman to win the award for Rap Album. Her speech was so freaking cute because she was legitimately surprised and so so gracious about it (unlike fakes we've seen in the past *COUGH TAYLOR SWIFT COUGH*).

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UMMM BUT CAN OFFSET PLEASE SEE HIMSELF OFF STAGE?? And yes, I know she was gripping his hand because she was so nervous, but I will never forgive him for being in her spotlight (or for cheating on her). Y'all when I say I was happy for her, I mean I literally clenched my heart when her name was announced like I'm some proud grandma. "Invasion of Privacy" was OBJECTIVELY (did you hear me, I said OBJECTIVELY) one of the best albums of 2018. It's got bops, it's got sass, it's got bangers, it cleared up my acne and paid off my car. Amazing.

Final Cardi note: She wore this Little Mermaid getup on the red carpet that only permitted her to move around in a sort of shuffle and I loved everything about it including the hat that I think is supposed to be like the pearl inside an oyster?

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But are we far from the Shallow now

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Based on her reaction to winning, you may not know this little known artist. Her name is Lady Gaga and SHE'S ONLY WON LIKE 450 GRAMMYS. Sure, this year's win was for a song from a movie featuring her first starring role, but dear God how many more times will we have to hear how Bradley Cooper apparently Tony Robbins'd her life and completely changed everything. She continues to act like she was Nikki Blonsky working at Coldstone and got plucked from obscurity to be in "Hairspray." When we all know Gaga was swimming in her pool made of melted down Grammys when B.Coop asked her to be in a recycled movie.

Luckily, we got a glimpse of old Gaga during her performance:

Only one more major awards show left for Gaga to be president of the high school drama club. Then can we please return to walking a red carpet inside an egg.

The bigger the hair, the closer to God

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I love how Kacey Musgraves brings out this bump-it for all her major performances. AND THOSE HOOPS! In a dramatic turn of events that surprised me the most, she was the artist I listened to most on Spotify in 2018. Who would've guessed. "The Golden Hour" really is that bitch. But do I think I am the one to thank for Kacey winning album of the year? Yes I am and she did thank me when she said "Thank you to the fans" UM FANS COME FROM ASIA. I AM ASIAN. So the logical connection is there, you see it. Speaking of fans, for all you history buffs, Kacey actually invented fans:

She performed "Rainbow" and all I want to talk about is how MOTHER FRACKING FLAWLESS HER MAKEUP AND BROWS AND LASHES ARE????? SHE DOES NOT HAVE PORES????

I'm hollering. The other thing I like about her is she looks like she could fight? Like she's definitely punched someone in the face before. And if that doesn't make you want to listen to her album, her reaction to winning Album of the Year should:

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Um, also when she won, this guy was onstage with her?

Wearing football pads and combat boots? So I guess some sort of time traveling fashion disaster? Cool.

When your cloning machine actually works

St. Vincent and Dua Lipa performed a collab of "Masseducation" and "One Kiss" and it was a win all around for short bobs. I saw St. Vincent perform at Panorama last year and by "saw" I mean I have a very blurry drunken image of her singing, I think. Was happy to see her perform because she's great! And Dua always delivers so. But how in the hell does she go to the bathroom with those nails. Or type emails. Or like, peel oranges. Mind boggling.

Things I could've done without
1) Whichever one this is from Dan + Shay wearing a shirt that looks like it includes Bluetooth headphones:

2) And then that same dude during their performance of "Tequila" holding that last note for what felt like 14 minutes:

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I don't even remember what the last word was, but I feel like it was something ordinary, like "pencil" and he just held it for an inordinate amount of time like "PEEEEEEEEEEEENCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL." We did not ask for this.

3) Everything about the Post Malone + Red Hot Chili Peppers performance. I don't even have a screenshot of it because this was my face the entire time:

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I just kept wondering how the Grammys found the time to gather all of the men I find least attractive and put them on one stage. Like some sort of PSA for birth control and it worked.

4) Everything and I mean EVERYTHING about J.Lo's Motown tribute.

First off, whose idea was it to have J.Lo do the Motown tribute? Secondly, does no one remember that J.Lo doesn't have that great of a voice? Someone was ABSOLUTELY singing behind the scenes for her, Milli Vanilli style. This entire performance was bizarre. Do you think they asked Beyonce first? And after she said no, asked 300 other people who all said no before finally being like "Oh, J.Lo is the last person left to ask"? It is the only explanation.

Things I could've done with more of
1) Maren Morris' hoops

2) Alicia Keys singing every genre of music

She performed a medley of a bunch of hits and some oldies including Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop (That Thing)" and if that piano intro doesn't make you involuntarily scream YESSSSS you are tasteless and I hate you.

3) BTS reaction shots

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4) Close-ups of Dua Lipa's brows

It's upsetting that she gets to be that tall and talented with those naturally great brows. Like, I didn't know we were allowed to choose more than one talent from the talent pool so I only chose "able to eat a lot of food but also gain weight." Pissed.

5) H.E.R. wearing sunglasses indoors

And wait actually that woman behind her with the side eye who clearly has no time for this fucking 15-hour show.

6) Degrassi

7) Childish Gambino

"This is America" won Song and Record of the Year, the first rap song to do so! Donald Glover wasn't there though because we were watching from home, but thank you all for the lovely messages we enjoyed reading them while eating our dumplings and watching Marie Kondo's Netflix show.

And that's it! I mean, obviously 800 other things happened because this show was on for 48 hours. If you want to know irrelevant shit like, all of the actual winners, check that out here.

See you tomorrow for Bachelor trash! Til then, find me making friendship bracelets for me and Chrissy Teigen and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez because we're all friends and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9). 

The K-Mac Stack - 12/17/2017

I finally listened to Swifty's "Reputation"
Look, I'm not ashamed to admit 1989 was a hot ass album. I love every song on it, even though my heart and brain and organs tell me that Taylor Swift is a snake and would Regina George me in a second. I of course took the time to listen to her latest album, once it was made available on Spotify because the only music I will outright buy is the Danity Kane reunion album.

A quick summary of how every song goes on this album:

• Dramatic talking. 
• A build up with either whisper singing or repeating the same words over and over. 
• Loud actual singing. 

Anyway, not a fan of this album or her whole "IDGAF what you say about me except I really do because I made an entire album about it but I'm badass now but not badass enough to be able to take any sort of criticism but like you guys remember how Kanye wronged me I don't want to talk about it but I will talk about it this entire album" aura she's putting off.

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To be honest, this is the most banging playlist of the year
So one day, I was casually browsing my Spotify when I was presented with this playlist. I scrolled through it thinking "Hot damn this is banging" before realizing this is in fact my own "Top Songs of 2017" playlist based off the top 100 songs I listened to this year (and no it's not just Bodak Yellow and Work From Home on repeat thank you very much). What can I say, I'm really good at knowing what I want to hear.

Anyway, if you're looking for some tunes to blast in your car, on the subway, at the gym, at your wedding, when your friend is in labor, etc. THIS IS IT!

Also, I have to let the masses know that "Work From Home" was one of my top 5 played songs of the year FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. I plan to continue this tradition until I die at which time it will be played at my funeral.

I guess this is how I'll learn Korean and Spanish
Sticking to this music theme, my two favorite songs of the moment are not in English because I am a citizen of the world and so global (and not just because I bought those "Jams of the World" that one time from World Market).

You've heard me mention them before because they've recently blown up in the US, but BTS is this precious K-Pop group. They're like the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC (haha I had to Google where the asterisk went) if either of those groups could actually hip-hop dance and sing at the same time. I'm down with their 90s'ish wardrobe and the bucket hats and GOOD LORD LOOK AT THEIR HAIR. So shiny and luxurious unlike that ramen noodle hair situation Justin Timberlake had going on. Anyway, cash me in AP Korean class how bou' dah.

Look, I don't speak Spanish, but I've been listening to this song on repeat so check in with me next week when I'm fluent. Based on the video, this song is about bamboozling money from dudes at the casino downtown while wearing bomb ass clothes? Can someone please confirm for me. Also, I'm not a Brazilian woman (did you guys know that), but if I was, I think it'd be great to be Anitta. She is actually a flawless human being. And little known tidbit -- I have this unexplainable attraction to J Balvin. He seems, smooth? Like he would have game. And not like Monopoly.

Where has actress Mary J. Blige been our whole lives
I know all of you either have a Netflix account or you have the password to your ex-boyfriend's mom's co-worker's daughters account, so I need for you to watch Mudbound as soon as possible. The story is based around a white sharecropper family and black sharecropper family, both of whom have a family member return home after WWII. Mary J. Blige plays the mother of one family and she is utterly amazing. She completely dissolves into the role that you forget it's even Mary J. Blige, which is quite the feat. Anyway, yes I cried at some point and I feel this image below correctly summarizes sentiment if she isn't recognized this awards show season:

Lady Bird lives up to the hype
After seeing it was the highest rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes with the most 100% ratings, I was still a little uncertain. But y'all, that movie lives up to the hype and more. Saoirse Ronan stars as Lady Bird and as a note, she is the only actress I've ever forgiven for her film transgressions (REMEMBER HOW IT WAS HER FAULT THAT KEIRA KNIGHTLEY AND JAMES MCAVOY DIDN'T END UP TOGETHER IN ATONEMENT. I WAS VERY AFFECTED).

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Coming-of-age movies too often come off as...fake? Almost as if filmmakers watch episodes of "Dawson's Creek" and decide that is how most teens experience life except you can't relate because you can't row a boat across a creek because it gives your hand calluses. A lot of these movies are over dramatic in portraying the way-way highs and way-way lows of growing up, but Lady Bird doesn't fall into this trap. It feels genuine and there's at least one thing in one of the characters you can relate to. And the early 2000s soundtrack doesn't hurt.


Let's talk about Golden Globe nominations
While I enjoy the Golden Globes, I sometimes find the nominations to be...off. This is obviously because nominees are chosen by about 90 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.  It's all very confusing because is a small group of journalists really qualified to choose nominees when there's a perfectly good me here to do it instead? The answer is no. Having journalists choose nominees for acting awards is like having me perform surgery. Sure I've seen ER and Grey's Anatomy but I'm not going to scrub into an appendectomy. Except for that one time. In Thailand. Look let's not talk about it.

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Some notes:

• Get Out is nominated for Best Picture, Musical or Comedy. Let's be very clear about something: Get Out is not a comedy and anyone who thinks it is did not watch Get Out.
• FIVE MEN NOMINATED FOR BEST DIRECTOR, ARE WE KIDDING. In a year that brought us Patty Jenkins' box office record breaker "Wonder Woman" and Greta Gerwig's "Lady Bird" and Dee Rees' "Mudbound." Absolutely ridiculous and I want to burn this place down.
• The whole Best Actor in a Comedy category has been rendered moot because Hugh Jackman is nominated for "The Greatest Showman," which also features Zac Efron. Sorry but there's no way in hell a Zefron movie garners nominations for anyone. And y'all know I love my baby Zef, but boy is a horrible actor and I find it hard to accept a movie is able to overcome that. Also, Ansel Elgort is nominated for "Baby Driver," and anyway what is going on is this the Teen Choice Awards.
• The category I'm most interested in is Best Supporting Actress in a Drama. Laurie Metcalf as the mom in "Lady Bird"; Allison Janney as the mom in "I, Tonya"; Mary J. Blige as the mom in "Mudbound." This is 100% the race to watch. All of them are mind-blowingly amazing in their roles and choosing a winner is like deciding if you want curly fries or waffle fries with your burger. IMPOSSIBLE DECISION.
• On the TV side, all I want to note is Julie Louis-Dreyfus has never won a GG for "Veep." Meanwhile, she's won an Emmy EVERY SINGLE FUCKING YEAR because she deserves it and honestly how are the Globes even still in business with this massive oversight.

Alas, the SAG Awards never let me down

These nominations generally make sense and this is because they're chosen by fellow actors. Also the SAG Awards often reflect who will win at the Oscars closer than the Golden Globes because the voting members for the SAGs are usually also Oscar voting members. Did that all make sense?

Anyway, I love the SAG Awards (and not just because the show ALWAYS sticks to its 2-hour running time).

Some notes:

• They nailed it with Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture nominees: The Big Sick, Mudbound, Lady Bird, Get Out,  and Three Billboards. Hoping Mudbound gets this one because every one of the cast members in this film stands out.
• Um yes, any category where an actor from Big Little Lies is nominated must win. And in the Female Actor in a Miniseries category, which pits Reese Witherspoon vs. Nicole Kidman vs. Laura Dern, it's gotta be Nicole Kidman. Y'ALL SHE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH IN THAT SEASON INCLUDING HAVING REALLY UNFORTUNATE BANGS.
• Female Actor in a Drama Series has to go to Elisabeth Moss for The Handmaid's Tale. Mossy's acting is so supreme I'm certain she could convince me that butter is fat free and french fries clear up acne.

Question of the week: HOW COULD DISNEY CHOOSE ANYONE OVER ME TO PLAY AS MULAN?

In a shocking turn of events, Disney has decided to cast Liu Yifei (or Crystal Liu) as Mulan in the live-action remake due out in 2019. That's right. They've cast an actual Chinese actress over me even though I had already set my out-of-office email response to "I'm out of the office indefinitely filming the live-action remake of Mulan." I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK.

I think I can more thoroughly provide basis for my outrage through photos. Here's cartoon Mulan:

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And here is who Disney actually cast, actress Crystal Liu:

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And here is me in some recent fall photos I had taken:

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CAN YOU BELIEVE I WASN'T CHOSEN?

Anyway, I'll be channeling my anger into rage eating over the holidays to put on my winter weight for survival and all. See you all soon! Awards show season and (dear God) the newest season of The Bachelor are just around the corner!