Monday, November 12, 2018

What did we learn from the 2018 People's Choice Awards?

I've watched a lot of awards shows — from the main dishes of the Oscars and Grammys to the side dishes of the SAG Awards and Golden Globes to the unwanted leftovers of anything on MTV. But this year's People's Choice Awards will go down as the worst ever. And that's saying a lot, because I once live streamed a small Canadian music awards show.

Anyway, E! thought that they could bring their television mastery to a show that in previous years has been pre-taped and hosted by Kaley Cuoco. So the bar was already pretty high. Let's jump into this overflowing dumpster!

Best dressed
Source
I AM SCREAMING. Crusoe The Celebrity Dachshund won the award for Animal Star of 2018 and this entire show would've been infinitely more entertaining and legitimate had they just stationed a camera on him the entire night. He also looked better than any other wiener on the carpet and this is quite possibly the best use of E!'s Glam Cam ever. I LOVE A DRAMATIC ZOOM. Honestly, I will never understand people who have dogs and don't make them wear clothes.

Why is this happening to us
Rancic showed up wearing a rain coat from a Star Wars villain's closet and even she is wondering why we have to endure her. The way she's wearing this looks like what happens when you wear a tank top to bed and wake up with one boob hanging out of one of the arm holes. I guess that's what happened to Rancic. Fell asleep in this Guardians of the Galaxy coat and woke up just in time to torture us on the red carpet.

Awards are expensive
E! named 110% of the winners before the show even started because there are apparently 450 categories and everyone gets a participation trophy. James Charles won the award for Beauty Influencer and all I could focus on was the fact that his trophy still had the Target price tag on it:
I could not stop laughing. As if we didn't already know this show was one step above a Beanie Babies convention.

Remember when Rita Ora dated Rob Kardashian
Rita Ora made an appearance on the red carpet making her the most famous person to appear for the night. I'm not even throwing shade (or 50) because I actually really like her. Her voice is pretty great and I don't know if you've seen the Fifty Shades movies, but she's in them and just waiting for that Oscar.

Anyway, shout out to this guy who shares my same sentiments:
Okay, let's get to the actual shit of this shit show.

THE REASON I THOUGHT THIS SHOW WOULD BE GOOD
In measuring the level of my obsession with Chrissy Teigen, I'd like to think I toe the line for creepy, while never crossing it. But I'm really really really close, like constantly hovering over it. Chrissy and Mr. Chrissy (read: John Legend) didn't even walk the red carpet because they do not have time for Rancic's BS. Also pretty sure she just made John tag along to support her presenting the award for Reality Series (note: she LOVES Bravo TV).

Now, I'm not insinuating I started watching Vanderpump Rules and Southern Charm because she loves them. I am outright saying that's why I started watching them. I AM VERY IMPRESSIONABLE, OKAY. And just as I suspected, her refined taste in television did not disappoint as was most evident in this super deep moment from the last season of Vanderpump:
Source
Speaking of Vanderpump...

What do you think the combined IQ of this table is

Are all of the people on Vanderpump Rules horrible? Yes. But are they honestly trying to grow and mature and be better people? HAHA ABSOLUTELY NOT. But they're entertaining as hell. One time Stassi (middle blonde) told Jax (front right tux) that she was the devil and I truly believe her. This is the table I would've wanted to sit at. They spent the entire evening being loud as hell while drinking all of the alcohol at their table before I assume stealing it from Crusoe The Celebrity Dachshund's table.

How existential is this photo of them taking shots with the words "Reality Show" in the background? I am an artist. Also, I do not fully understand what the word existential means.

This is all of them reacting to Chrissy saying she loves them, which I'm only including for Lala who seems completely unfazed. For those of you who don't watch this show that continues to be robbed of an Emmy, Lala dates an old rich dude, only flies on private jets, wears huge gold hoops all the time and sometimes drinks milk out of a bottle. All very normal things.
Source
THIS SHOW IS A MASTERPIECE.

In which E! gives an award to the most famous show on E!
Just a gentle reminder that these awards are not awarded based on the "people's votes." Who even knows where those votes go? I feel like when you submit your votes online, they are literally printed out somewhere straight into a shredder. Anyway, the Kardashians won the award for Reality Series and all I want to talk about is how fucking creepy Kris is:
Unless you are Cyclops (from X-Men) who has to wear sunglasses all the time to prevent himself from shooting lasers at people, you have no reason to wear sunglasses indoors. And okay I know there are other medical reasons, but the point is Kris is not affected by any of those. I actually don't know what steals my attention more, Kris looking like a predator or Kourtney's REALLY AMAZING BROWS???

Carson Daly has been wearing the same outfit for 20 years
He has legitimately maintained the same outfit, hairstyle and stubble since the early 2000s, which is both admirable and also wtf? Do you think his closet is just a bunch of black utility jackets and Hanes white tees?

What the hell is a Shadowhunter
I feel pretty confident in saying this is the only time "Shadowhunters" will be named the top show of any year. This was the point in the evening when I realized I had made a terrible mistake. The other nominees in the category included: "This is Us" (which makes sense), "Grey's Anatomy" (who even knew this was still on), "The Big Bang Theory" (I'll let you fill in your own commentary), and "13 Reasons Why" (why tho). FOR SHOW OF THE YEAR??? WHO CHOSE THESE NOMINEES, A PERSON WHO DOES NOT ENJOY TELEVISION??

Shadowkillers also won some other awards, but I don't remember which ones because I was too busy screaming WHAT IS THIS SHOW?

Okay Shay Mitchell, we get it
I even happened to take this screenshot when she was blinking and she still looks absolutely flawless, which is pretty rude. For comparison, here is what I look like when someone surprises me by taking a photo:
I find solace in the fact that she is a terrible actress. Trust me. If you've seen even 14 seconds of "Pretty Little Liars," you know this is true. So I guess she'll just have to settle for being ridiculously good looking and one of the faces of Adidas. Totally sucks.

Who tricked Allison and Melissa into coming to this
Did someone tell them this was a special ceremony for Meryl or something? Or that Ryan Gosling was handing out kisses? Did that woman in the black dress orchestrate all of this? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR THE FINALE OF "THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL ALLISON JANNEY AND MELISSA MCCARTHY WOULD ATTEND THIS SHOW OF THEIR OWN VOLITION." Though I did really appreciate the fact that Melissa was seated next to Nicki Minaj.
If this ain't the poster for a new comedy series, I don't know what is.

When someone asks how many eyes and boobs you have
Source
How does Gwen Stefani look younger than she did in 1998? More importantly, should I try a middle part?

Victoria Beckham invented suits
Source
Look how nonchalant this boss ass bitch walks up to accept her Fashion Icon award. The whole hands-in-suit-pockets pose is such a power move that says "I run this" and also "I have peanut M&M's in my pocket." She was presented her award by Allegra Cole from "Hitch" whose real name I don't know and also should I know her from anything else?

Posh then included this in her acceptance speech and I hollered:
Source
Do we think I can wear this on casual Friday
Nicki wore this outfit that seemed to be made completely of belts and spiderwebs and I kept wondering how did she go to the bathroom?? Like did she have to unbuckle each of those belts? Have you ever been rushing home to use the bathroom and then have to frantically struggle to undo your belt? Can you even imagine what that would be like if you were wearing this? Nicki is a true hero. Also, she used her speech to shoot her shot with Michael B. Jordan by first thanking the designer for her outfit then saying "and thank you to Michael B. Jordan who will be taking this off of me tonight." YOOO NICKI. MY GIRL.

And that's it! While the PCAs were only two hours long, they felt like about 45 days. It was like some sort of cleanse, except instead of cleansing toxins from my body, it cleansed pesky brain cells.

See you all soon! Til then, find me eating pounds of pasta while claiming I'm allergic to gluten and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

What did we learn from the 2018 American Music Awards?

Before we jump into things, just reminding you that at shows like the American Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, VMA's, etc., the award literally goes to whoever shows up to this JV pep rally. That's it. Don't let them make you believe there's any sort of "voting."

This year's AMAs recap is brought to you by Taran Killan's reaction to Cardi B's performance:
Source
As a side note, whenever I see Cobie Smulders I don't think about "How I Met Your Mother" or "The Avengers," instead I immediately think about that Nicholas Sparks movie she was in with Julianne Hough (LOLOLOL) where she played the ghost of Josh Duhamel's wife. And so that's my history with her because I know you were wondering.

I'm skipping over the red carpet because I don't even know where the pre-show aired. I checked my usual dumpster, E!, and it wasn't there so I guess some high school public broadcasting program aired it. Here we gooo!

Still skeptical as hell about this
Source
Swifty opened the show with her usual dramatics and attempts to dance, but this time with fire! And sass because remember she is in her "badass" phase as is evident in her bangs. I don't actually remember a lot about this because I always find the music and theatrics around her performances pretty amazing while her vocals are meh. It's like having a sandwich made with the most amazing homemade bread while the contents of the sandwich are an old Kraft Singles wrapper. Disappointing and also confusing.
Source
I don't want to dive into the whole Swifty political sphere except to say yes, it's great and awesome she is using her platform to encourage young people to vote while also pointing out some candidates are literal monsters. But um, girl where was this two years ago? I'm still skeptical as hell of her and I'm pretty sure she has used the line "Do you know who I am?" at CVS when she's forgotten her ExtraCare card.

On the flipside, the entire "1989" album is a bop. So I remain conflicted. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers during this time.

In surprise to no one, she won a bunch of awards because I believe that was in her contract with the AMAs in exchange for her attendance.

Me whenever Mariah is introduced to perform:
Source
Nothing induces more anxiety than hearing "And now...Mariah Carey!" because you never really know what you're going to get. Will it be like New Year's Eve 2017 Mariah? Or will it magically be 1998 Mariah who can still hit a whistle note? Things ended up okay this time.
Source
She debuted her new song, which, it's unclear who asked for new Mariah music. I took a poll and we just want her to re-release the "Daydream," "Butterfly," "Rainbow" and "The Emancipation of Mimi" albums over and over again.

When you're casually stretching at the gym and a hot guy walks in
Source
Cardi, Bad Bunny and J Balvin performed "I Like It," and can y'all believe she had a baby like 3 months ago? For reference, I have had zero babies and the last time I tried to dance or stretch like that I dislocated my uterus.
Source
Their stage setup was by far, the best. And probably the most entertaining mostly due to Cardi. She proceeded to serve us looks from the audience for the rest of the night while yelling, which, "yells while wearing custom Dolce & Gabbana" is peak what I look for in a role model.
Source

SECTION WHERE I SCREAM ABOUT FIFTH HARMONY
I'm not going to critique their red carpet looks except to say Camila wins (per usual) because opting for pants that have pockets and allow you to squat and sit with your legs open, always wins. I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. This year, 3/5's of Fifth Harmony showed up, meaning we're gaining one member per year at the AMAs so by 2020 I'm guessing there will be a reunion and they'll perform "Work From Home" and I'll scream. I'm dying at Lauren's facial expression (far right, omg I can't believe I have to point her out to you). She looks like she just saw someone across the room unplug her phone from charging.

Normani and Lauren haven't dropped solo albums yet, so they were both just attendees at the Camila show. And I guess the AMAs forgot their ticket to Petty Town because we got NO reaction shots of either of them when Camila won any of her 50 awards or when she performed. What good are these award shows if not to fuel non-existent drama?

Anyway Camila performed her new song in this bigass gown and some gloves and the biggest question we were all faced with was should I get bangs???
Source
Okay and again, y'all know I love Camila, but it's like the AMAs thought she was the only attendee. We got approximately 4,568 shots of her during the night.
Source
Like, can we get some of Constance Wu, who was literally right behind her? Or Cardi? Or one zoomed in on Shawn Mendes' face? Which speaking of...

MY LITTLE CANADIAN BACON
Source
Shawn Mendes performed "Lost in Japan" because he is obsessed with me (hello - I grew up in Japan and I've been lost many, many times). And if you're wondering how the audience reacted to his entire performance, I'll let Carrie Underwood and this random woman speak for everyone:
It was adorable and my lawyers say I should remind you that he is 20 years old so our relationship is completely legal. Plus, I mean his last name is MENdes not BOYdes because he is a grown man.

Also, he won this award:
ADULT contemporary. An award that can only be won by an ADULT. And sure he can only buy us alcohol in Canada BUT THAT'S FINE.

Spotted: A wild Rami Malek
Speaking of boyfriends. Rami was there to promote his new movie about Queen that he plays Freddie Mercury in. Something about Rami really creeps me out, but also, I think I am in love with him? As the Nobel Laureate Selena Gomez once said, THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS.

While we're on the topic of my personal life
Source

I think I'm also a little bit in love with Quavo? This is a new development. Per my interest in Lil' Wayne, maybe it's his face tattoos? I DON'T KNOW, OKAY. And anyway, he's dating Saweetie (which is cute). So that's the reason we can't date. The only reason.

Someone I am definitely not dating
Let me preface this by saying basically all of Post Malone's songs are catchy as hell. But something tells me that's not the only thing you can catch from him. Also, I feel like he probably smells like hot dogs and old socks?

My time machine worked
Source
And we're in the 90s! Real quick reminder that DUA LIPA SHOULD BE A BIGGER DEAL THAN SHE IS IN THE U.S. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. She gave us major 90s rave party vibes with this performance and where am I? HERE FOR IT. She wore this baggy pants + ho' top situation that I believe Julia Stiles invented back in the day and proceeded to have neon paint splattered all over her, a practice which was invented in "Miss Congeniality" (if you don't remember the paint drumming scene, please see yourself out).

To top it off, she ended the set by having it rain on stage! Which remains an over-the-top thing I'm obsessed with because it's so extra. And look, I am afforded essentially no opportunities to be onstage, but the moment I am given one, you better believe I'm gonna make it rain (literally, not with money).
Source
Anyway, it was the most fun performance and she sang live the entire time and most importantly she had the best brows of the evening:
Source

We also got back to the 90s with Halsey and her jeans + Jordans combo during her performance with Khalid and Benny Blanco:
Time travel is great.
   
TWO WORDS: MISS. AYYYYY.
Source
Missy Elliott came out for a remix of Ciara's "Level Up" and I felt like I was 14 again buying Adidas Superstars so I could dance to "Gossip Folks" (the shoes activate your dancing skills, duh). The "Under Construction" album remains one of the best and I will fight you.

Oh also, reminder that aside from Cardi, Ciara should've been the only one allowed to dance during the show.
Source
In case you're wondering, Carrie Underwood is a:
Great job, AMAs. This cracked me up for a bit.

Thank goodness, no Madonna
Remember a few months ago when Madonna come out at the end of the VMAs to "pay tribute" to Aretha Franklin and we, as a universe, felt embarrassed and upset and befuddled as to who let Madonna out of her crypt? The AMAs tribute to Aretha was the polar opposite of that. Actually, you can't even compare them. Gladys Knight, Donnie McClurkin, CeCe Winans, Ledisi, and Mary Mary all covered songs from her "Amazing Grace" album and it was unbelievably great. The best way to end the night.

And that's it! This fracking show was THREE HOURS LONG. What do the AMAs think they are? The Oscars? Titanic?

See you all soon! Til then, find me eating trail mix made mostly of chocolate while calling it "healthy food" and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

What did we learn from the 2018 Emmy Awards?

This year's Emmy's were like an overhyped party that was talked about for weeks. But then you show up to find this "party" is just a case of Natural Light and a bag of plain ass Lays chips.

Thank goodness for the red carpet! It was the fun pregame and by far, the most entertaining part of the evening (even with E! buzzkilling everything). And since it's been a while, I'll let Chrissy describe my feelings about experiencing a red carpet with Rancic and Jason Kennedy again:

Best dressed:
Source
Issa Rae looks amazing at every show and I know I always list her as a favorite but that's only because she looks infinitely better than 85% of the other attendees. She opted for a Carolina Blue dress this year to pay homage to her impending best friendship with me. Spread the word. I love the long train situation on this top, but how annoying do you think it was in the bathroom? Like, do you think she had to ball up the entire bottom part of this outfit and hold it above her head while trying to undo her pants to pee? The logistics alone sound terrible.
Source
While we're on pantsuits, let's talk about Tatiana Maslany. You may remember me quietly mentioning THAT SHE SHOULD HAVE SO MANY EMMYS FOR PLAYING EVERY CHARACTER ON ORPHAN BLACK but maybe not because I'm so demure in talking about the things I like. She showed up in some sleek black pants with a highlighter yellow wrap top that looks like a curtain ripped off the wall of an EDM party. I support this look. Anytime you can wear something that then transforms into decorative home goods is honestly just smart shopping.
Source
Rory Gilmore showed up in this pink lemonade situation that I don't actually hate. I loved her simple makeup and hair and I guess I find her stunning at most events because I'm used to seeing her look haggard as hell on "The Handmaid's Tale." So this Fun Dip dress was great! Almost made me forget she's married to Pete Campbell and his weird hairline. And look, I don't base my disdain for him just on looks - he creeps me out to my shallow, tin core. He's definitely someone who whispers a lot and we all know that whispering is the trademark of a creep. 

Best brows
Source
To be fair, Emilia Clarke has the best brows in just about any room she's in (unless Demi Lovato is also in that room, in which case, a brow-off occurs). And while the extent of my makeup knowledge is simply to buy whatever Chrissy Teigen endorses in hopes of making my face look like hers, even I could tell that Emilia's makeup was FLAWLESS. Look at that closeup! That is her actual face! It's unbelievable that she and I are the same species (allegedly).

I wasn't sure how to feel about her dress. The literal breeziness of the top reminded me of that time I forgot to wear a bra to school. Except, I imagine if I had worn a mesh top, braless to 8th grade, there would've been some sort of situation. Anyway, I'm letting the fact that her hair and makeup were a 10, average this entire look out to a 12. I took pre-calc in college, so you can trust me.

Best Mandy Moore and Milo Ventimiglia
Let me first say that Milo Ventimiglia is a delicious bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. I have loved him since Jess Mariano days and was pretty disappointed that we didn't get a Jess and Rory reunion on the red carpet. I think he's one of those smooth guys who can wink at you and it doesn't seem weird. And I'm 140% positive that if he winked at me, I would first giggle like a baby then probably die.

And Mandy Moore! She hasn't let the fact that her performance in "A Walk to Remember" was overlooked by the Oscars get to her. Look how good she looks! She's in that Sandy Bullock/Reese Witherspoon wine cellar, just getting better with age. With that perfect level of spray tan and beach waves. I can practically hear "I'M MISSIN YOU LIKE CANDY AAAAY YAAAA." Don't @ me, that song is still a bop.

Okay okay let's talk about the show at least a little...

OBLIGATORY CHRISSY SECTION
Source
Meme'd in the first 5 minutes of the show, Chrissy T did not come to play. The audience was allowed to have alcohol at their seats this year, so I can only hope that CT had a few glasses of champagne. And while I could dedicate this entire post to her, I'll just refer you to my doctoral dissertation: "Chrissy Teigen Dictates A Questionable Number of Things in My Life and I Have No Regrets."

Brace yourself: I'm not a Mrs. Maisel fan
No one is more shocked than me. It's an Amy Sherman-Palladino show, so it features her signature fast-paced, quippy dialogue and well thought out characters, but man, it is not funny. It's like the LaCroix of TV shows: You know there's a hint of something funny in it, but it's so faint that you're not sure. For reference, this gif of Amy Sherman-Palladino perfectly encapsulates the comedy of the show:
Source
She was returning to the stage to accept Outstanding Directing for a Comedy (after winning Writing for a Comedy). Can't Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino just focus all of their efforts into pumping out new Gilmore Girls revivals every year? GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

Anyway, contradictory to me, the Emmys LOVED Mrs. Maisel. It swept so many of the comedy awards and we learned that this is what we get when we lose "Veep." I did somewhat support Alex Borstein winning Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy though because I pretended it was a delayed reward for her work as Ms. Swan on Mad TV.
Source
She did a shimmy and told women to sit down to pee, because if one of us sits, we all get to sit WHICH IS ACTUALLY TRUE. #StopHoverPeeing2018

I remain a salty salt shaker over "The Good Place" not getting more nominations. Call me old fashioned but I assume that "comedy" implies something is funny. Crazy, I know.

The only non-Sandra Oh who I accept winning
Source
The Outstanding Lead Actress category was like a Britney Spears Greatest Hits album - HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE? While I was hoping Sandra Oh would take it home, becoming the first Asian woman to win a lead acting Emmy, I was okay with Claire Foy winning instead. If you haven't seen season 2 of "The Crown," just chisel out 10 hours this weekend to binge it. She is simply amazing. The acting she does with her eyes alone is award worthy. And I have eyes, which makes me qualified to make that assessment.

And since we're on the topic of Sandra Oh, I need to talk about how much I love her parents and the fact that her mom came in traditional Korean hanbok:
Source
Y'all, when I say I hollered, I mean I HOLLERED. And even better was that Sandra introduced her parents to all of the red carpet interviewers as "Mr. and Mrs. Oh." YES. Do you actually think fracking Rancic gets the privilege of calling her lovely mother by her first name? Naaahhhh. Also, I love how when Claire Foy won and Sandra Oh was graciously clapping, her mom was clearly like "Umm, who is that? And why is she holding your trophy?"
MOMS ARE THE BEST.

When someone says they saved the last cookie for you
Source
I didn't include her before, but I'm digging Thandie Newton's one-shoulder, cape dress. She won in the other category I deemed most competitive: Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama. And while I've only seen half of season 1 of Westworld, she was pretty fantastic in that half of a season. Fantastic enough to win over THREE of the ladies from Handmaid's Tale AND Cersei Lannister AND Princess Margaret. They would make up one badass volleyball team.

Speaking of the Handmaid's ladies, here they are all huddled together as Thandie is announced:
This is precious but also confusing for my mind to see Aunt Lydia and Serena Joy being friendly with Emily. DON'T TRUST THEM EMILY!

A standard proposal location
Source
So while Glenn Weiss was accepting his Emmy for directing the Oscars (which is such an Inception thing to happen), he took the time to propose to his longtime lady friend, Jan. And it was so freaking cute. He spoke first of his mom who recently passed away before saying that Jan is the light in his life. Then came the kicker: "You wonder why I don't want to call you my girlfriend? Because I want to call you my wife." And this was her reaction:
Source
She of course said yes! And no one was shocked to learn that this is the first time someone has gotten engaged on an Emmys stage. And I was shocked to find this entire TV engagement genuine and sweet because I've dealt with garbage ones for the past however many months with the Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise.

OH OK, ANGELA BASSETT
Did you all get the memo from Angela Bassett declaring she has decided to stop aging? I audibly gasped at how gorgeous she looks. And I love Tiffany Haddish just relishing in the moment.

Lil' Baby Aidy, here to steal yo' man
Just want to point out Aidy Bryant's bit during the opening number. It is my biggest hope that she pitched this as "Okay and when you pan to me, I'll just be caressing Milo Ventimiglia" with no other supporting details or setup. Gotta shoot your shot, ya know.

And I thought Aidy was maybe sitting next to him just for the bit, but as it turns out, that was her seat! Between Milo and JT!
Source
If I were her, I would've held both of my arms out, palms up, on the armrests to see if Milo or JT would try to hold my hand first. That is how relationships start.

Tami Taylor!
Connie Britton is what you get when you cross a Lilly Pulitzer dress with a glass of sweet tea and I am here for her southern fried goodness. I don't even remember what award she and Eric Bana were presenting, but she stood like this for most of the time and her hair remains a level of perfection I will never comprehend. Shout out to me for capturing Eric Bana in this moment, looking like he's upset people don't remember his stellar performance in one of the Hulk movies.

When your mom forces you to go to prom with the King of the North
Aside from the fact that this looks like an awkward high school dance photo, Constance Wu looks gorg! I like how her dress kind of looks like it's made of that bubbly glitter paint. And Kit Harington, while sweet looking, always looks like he's waiting in line at the bank. And the teller just stepped away for lunch. I'm pretty sure this is exactly what he looked like when Game of Thrones won Outstanding Drama.

Who should've hosted the show
Source
Colin Jost and Michael Che were....alright. If you want to watch 3 hours of Weekend Update. The funniest part of their hosting was the bits with Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen, who were pretending to be Emmys "experts." I don't mean to get critical here (haha yes I do), but Colin and Michael are clearly comedy WRITERS. Maya and Fred are comedic PERFORMERS. It's kind of like how you go see Adele to hear her sing. And you go see Britney to see her dance (YES EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE SMALL MOVEMENTS MOSTLY WITH HER HANDS, SHE'S STILL DANCING). Two very respectable, yet different things.

My point here is that NBC had SO many choices for hosts (as was evident in the entire SNL cast being in the opening dance) and they chose two kind of boring dudes.

And that's it! Or well, that's all that my brain full of packing peanuts decided to commit to long-term memory. Interested to see if Emmy voters will still like Mrs. Maisel next year. Or if they'll finally cave and just agree that Julia Louis-Dreyfus should get the Emmy every year, regardless of if she's in anything.

See you all soon! Til then, find me staring at your dog from across the street and also on Twitter (@cocoakristis) and Instagram (@kristimac9).